Saturday, 21 February 2009

Practical Jokes

There's no way to IC blog this. I did consider it, but there are some things which in Real Life, would run too much against human nature to be committed so casually.

The other night in the Hellcats public channel, someone happened to take a peek at my info and said, 'hmmm, 15 mill bounty, not high enough me thinks,' and added a few million onto it. Not a problem in itself, I'm so accustomed to having ISK on my head that it feels weird to see my info without that big red WANTED stamp.

But then everyone else got in on it....
Ren Hespere > when do they put yout face up on the billboards?
Raxip Elamp > damnit, that was all I could afford, Shae.
Creesch > it is 30 now
Shae Tiann > no f*cking way are you putting that much isk on my head
Creesch > yes way
Shae Tiann > no, I mean enough to het my face on a billboard
Creesch > In time
Shae Tiann > that's in the hundreds of millions range
Raxip Elamp > \o\ Check it again!
Creesch > just don't get yourself killed dear :) and we will make sure you get there
Ren Hespere > lol, 40 now
*Shae Tiann facepalms > too much love kills me
Shae Tiann > man, I only got podded like three days ago :p
Ren Hespere > shae, your like a celeb
Vertigo Falling > damn shae
Shae Tiann > you people have too much isk to waste :p
Raxip Elamp > Actually yes.
Shae Tiann > :/
Creesch > well it is only 70....
Creesch > so we need to add a lot more :P
Raxip Elamp > I think that's a challenge.
Shae Tiann > I hate you
Shae Tiann > omg I hate you all
Shae Tiann > I'mma go pod myself now
Raxip Elamp > \o\
Raxip Elamp > NOES
Creesch > nooooooooo!
Creesch > you can make more money shae! :P
Shae Tiann > you're all awful meanies and I need the isk more than the next enterprising lowlife :p
Vertigo Falling > lol shae
Vertigo Falling > i think i'll pod shae
Creesch > aww :(
Creesch > just don't get podded ? :D
Shae Tiann > >_< I won't be able to undock at this rate
Shae Tiann > you're all horrid :p
Raxip Elamp > Aw comeon, don't pod yourself. That's lame.
Raxip Elamp > Make your life more interesting.
Ren Hespere > lol
Ren Hespere > this is epic
Shae Tiann > I will! I was just saying to Mynx, if it got over 50, I would
Ren Hespere > ill do it and split it with you
Raxip Elamp > Oh come on.
Creesch > Shae you have the change to get it to a 100
Shae Tiann > if you can put that much on my head, you can stand to lose it all to my alt :p
Vertigo Falling > haha
Kalazar > I've just noticed :D
Kalazar > Nice bounty Shae ^^
Shae Tiann > ah, but I didn't EARN it
Ren Hespere > - 10, 70 mill, shes now a legend
Creesch > yes you did shae
Shae Tiann > it's just a nasty joke my friends play on me
Shae Tiann > like the first one :p
Kalazar > aww, poor Shae
Creesch > pod yourself and I'll come down personally to podkill you again as punishment
Creesch > :P
Raxip Elamp > \o/ IT'S OVER 100 MIL
Creesch > yay!
*Shae Tiann headdesks
Creesch > let's make it 200! :P
Shae Tiann > NO
Raxip Elamp > I challenge you to see how long you can survive with that.
Shae Tiann > ffs
Shae Tiann > NO
Raxip Elamp > Sadly, that's the limit of my Iskies.
Ren Hespere > LOL, im loving htis
Vertigo Falling > rofl
Raxip Elamp > YOu love us, Shae.
Shae Tiann > you're meanies!
Shae Tiann > >=|
Raxip Elamp > Nooooooooo....
Creesch > 110
Raxip Elamp > We love you. We want to make sure you never have a boring day!
Ravven Kitsune > lol
Shae Tiann > omfg whyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Raxip Elamp > bidding goes to creesch, I'm out.
Kalazar > Easy answer Shae - Empty JC, alt, free money! :P
Creesch > 110, anyway going for 120 ?
Shae Tiann > I need an empty JC
Creesch > 120 anyway...
Shae Tiann > argh!
Creesch > the gentlemen there ?
Shae Tiann > NO!
*Vertigo Falling giggles
Raxip Elamp > SOLD
Raxip Elamp > Gimme a moment to log my alt in.
Vertigo Falling > hahahaaha
Vertigo Falling > just think of waht you'll be able to buy shae!
Shae Tiann > omfg I won't be able to undock except in a recon!
Shae Tiann > ><
Avan Sercedos > I'll pod you and split it
Avan Sercedos > :)
Shae Tiann > how 'bout I pod myself with my alt and leave it at that >:P
Avan Sercedos > I'm an honest piwat
Avan Sercedos > sounds like too much risk of someone else podding you
Avan Sercedos > tbh
Shae Tiann > I'm logging my alt on right now! >_<
Raxip Elamp > No, See how long you survive. Don't be a sissy, Shae.
Shae Tiann > 25 I can live with
Avan Sercedos > It's ok Shae
Shae Tiann > 110 is just NO
Avan Sercedos > You can have an epeen too
Raxip Elamp > \o/
Raxip Elamp > you mean 120
Avan Sercedos > bounty = epeen
Vertigo Falling > hhaah
*Shae Tiann gares murderously at Raxip
Avan Sercedos > oh no
Raxip Elamp > =D
Avan Sercedos > shes garing at you
Avan Sercedos > RUN AWAY
Shae Tiann > anyone else? if there is, I'll show you how to REALLY earn a bounty!
*Raxip Elamp hugs Shae.
Raxip Elamp > It's okay, you don't have to be so scared.
Shae Tiann > >__________<
Lincolnshire Poacher > shes almost on the most wanted list at the bounty office
Creesch > I wonder how she will react to the 300... :P
Vertigo Falling > you wouldn't!
Raxip Elamp > DO IT DO IT DO IT
Lincolnshire Poacher > the bottom of the list is 167,174,042
Raxip Elamp > Put Shae on teh list!
Shae Tiann > omfg
Shae Tiann > you people have too much f*cking isk
Creesch > Nah, just bored shae
Creesch > and giving you bounties always makes me forgot time because of priceless reactions :)
Creesch > I don't put bounties on strangers heads
Creesch > :P
Shae Tiann > ngr
Raxip Elamp > Someone anti up 3 mil and she's on the list.
Shae Tiann > my private amusement is in messing up people's carefully-placed 666 and 1337 bounties
Raxip Elamp > \o/ ON THE LIST
Kalazar > yeah, but that's just fun Shae :D
Avan Sercedos > make pew on her pod
Avan Sercedos > nao
Lincolnshire Poacher > no she isnt
Lincolnshire Poacher > Jaxx Blackfox is bottom of list
Raxip Elamp > Damnit, List starts at 167.
Raxip Elamp > I'm out of isk. Anyone?
Creesch > someone needs to put 30 mill on her :P
Raxip Elamp > Oh snap.
Avan Sercedos > =)
Creesch > made list
Raxip Elamp > \o/
*Raxip Elamp dances Shae aroudn in a circle
Avan Sercedos > holy crap
*Shae Tiann facepalms
Avan Sercedos > where do you people get this isk to waste?
Creesch > I don't see her on the list though :(
Shae Tiann > delayed by 2 hours
Raxip Elamp > pls don't lose it at least for two hours.
Creesch > yes I want screenshots!
Shae Tiann > lets see how long it takesmy alt to get here
Shae Tiann > >:P
Raxip Elamp > pls wait 2 hours? I'll bake you a cookie.
Creesch > snap creesch's wallet is empty
Raxip Elamp > same, lol
Vertigo Falling > omg you guys. lol.
Shae Tiann > my bounty is now higher than that of the guy who podded me the other night
Shae Tiann > congrats
Creesch > np
Creesch > With pleasure
*Raxip Elamp bows
Shae Tiann > I'll wait two hours, but this is coming off after that
Raxip Elamp > Yay!
Creesch > noooooooooo!
Raxip Elamp > You're totally a sissy, though.
Creesch > you can never use this char again to undock
Shae Tiann > I'm practical
In the end, the total amount hit 176,666,666.00 ISK, but because the Most Wanted list appears to be broken, my name didn 't make it up there. Proof:
I was going to wait until I could get a screenshot of my character on a CONCORD billboard, but because the MW list is broken, the info doesn't go to the boards, either *le sigh*

This does prove, however, that the bounty system in Eve is broken: there is nothing in place to prevent a pirate from using their alt to collect their own bounty, or to have a friend pod them and split the proceeds. And as Sard Caid put it, 80% of the bounties in Eve are given out of affection and/or respect.

I did end up stupidly prodding the hornets'-nest that is GiS in a crap-fit Incursus with that much on my head, which made for a fun hour or so while they buzzed around angrily. Mostly, though, I've been spying on war targets in Evati from the relative safety of my recon, until just now when I got fed up waiting on the system and had my alt collect on Shae's pretty head. Some of that will go towards the implants I need to replace; ten million went back on as a tribute to my friends and their oversized wallets. And the rest... well, we'll see ;)


Myrhial Arkenath said...

Very nice bounty :D I had a few friends pimp my bounty as well. It's a shame it is a broken system, I've often been thinking about how it could be fixed but never came up with anything that couldn't be exploited. Wasn't aware the billboard list itself was broken though.

X1376 said...

Bah. I would make trip to Empire to get picture of that criminal hanging on screens next to gate!

Raxip Elamp said...

Aw, Shae, you know you love us! We give you things to blog about! Otherwise your life would be cold and sad, without us =D

Tony "EVE's Weekend Warrior" said...

Awe that is awesome! You have rich devotees.

Great and funny read :D

Sard Caid said...

I'm sort of glad that I wasn't around at the time. I might have bumped that amount a few hundred mil. =p

PsycheDiver said...

I agree that a major reno of the bounty system is needed. It's been needed for some time now.

That was hilarious. Good laugh in the morning, thanks to you and yours. You should get that shot put on a t-shirt for yourself!

Kyle Langdon said...

While I was reading this I had the urge to go on and bump up the bounty but it's already gone :-/ shame really.

Andrea skye said...

part time reader here, but if you cleared the cache in the settings in eve... then you woulda found yourself on the list.

Running around with a bounty isnt really big deal tho, just spam warp as your ships about to die and you usualy always get out. Only thing you gota worry about is smartbombs :P

Shae Tiann said...

@Andrea - I'm a total noob about cache settings =_= and funnily enough, I lost my last set of implants to a smartbombing battleship. Our current targets run with pod-popping inties, so I figured it was best to not take chances.

Ospie said...

Ah well, it's not much fun trying to see yourself on a billboard tbh, I've spent any number of hours over past few weeks just spamming login-logout on alts next to gates to see mine, still no joy :\

You probably did the smart thing :P

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